One of the most profoundly liberating realizations is that we have no
secrets. Every untruth and limiting belief that we hold is embodied in us
and revealed to everyone we meet. What we try to hide is observable in
our posture, the tension and relaxation of our muscles, our tone and
volume and pace of our speaking, our choice of words, the degree of
openness of our eyelids, our skin tone, where we focus our eyes, our
degree of coordination, our activity level, the clothing we wear, and many
more traits.
Very few people consciously understand what these outward manifestations
mean, but EVERYONE understands them unconsciously and immediately. We are
an open book whose entire story is read by the unconscious of others in a
single glance.
Have you ever been attracted to someone from across the room? You eyes
meet and suddenly, you just KNOW that you have a connection. It’s love at
first sight! You’ve just unconsciously read the book of that person and
immediately understand that there is passion between you. This passion
comes from the blending of your emotional wounds (traumas). You’ve just
met someone who is uniquely qualified to bring your issues out of “hiding”
and into consciousness so that you can heal them (most of this begins
right after the honeymoon phase ends, lol!).
And you understood that connection with a single glance…
The ability of everyone to unconsciously read everyone else explains why
some people continually feel taken advantage of, how bullies find their
victims, and why some people have “all the luck”. We evaluate each person
that we meet to determine if we can engage in a dynamic with them. The
dynamic around the bully and the bullied is one example; these two kinds
of people will inevitably be attracted to each other.
Think of a trauma that you have experienced, big or small. The event left
an imprint within your physical and emotional body specific to the key
details of that episode. If the trauma involved abuse from another
person, the quality of the energy of that person will be locked into your
imprint of the event. You can think of this imprint like a puzzle piece
with edges unique to each important aspect of the trauma.
When you encounter someone, your unconsciousness instantly scans for a
match to your puzzle piece, someone who holds the OTHER side of your
trauma dynamic so that the edges of their trauma puzzle piece fit with
yours. If there is a match, then there will be attraction. It’s that
simple. The more closely all of your trauma puzzle pieces match up with
theirs, the more intense the attraction.
You may be wondering… “If love is so desirable and feels so good, why
are we “programmed” to find someone who will re-play with us our most
frightening events?” The beauty of love is that it opens us and we choose
to become vulnerable. We trust our partner enough to allow ourselves to
reveal our “secrets”. As the honeymoon phase ends, we feel triggered and
reactive around our partner and the arguments, anger and tears begin. In
conscious love, we hold each other at these time and allow the tears to
flow, releasing the buried trauma energy, growing closer and deepening our
ability to love. In unconscious love, we react through blame, judgment,
distraction and projection.
The most beautiful and perfect part of the love dynamic is that when one
person heals in the arms of their partner, the other person can heal their
trauma piece at the same time.
This is how attraction works. Unconsciously, at least, everyone knows all
of the most important information about everyone else.
So stop trying to hide. Be honest and real. Because… we already know.